Reflection in Skye

Today, I’m looking at the old pictures and saw a reflection of me some time ago. Today I’m thinking of the past and wonder how good would it be if those moments lasts. But they don’t. I think that’s one thing travelling has taught me. Letting go, and although painfully so, moving on.

But this blog post isn’t about that. It’s a reminiscence of the times I knew I loved you.

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The first time I knew I loved you was when I told you to text her for a closure. You needed it. I could tell how much you love her, despite all the heart breaks, cheating and drama, you were – maybe are – still very much in love with her. I was so scared then to lose you, both as a friend and a boyfriend, but I let you go. I knew you needed this and it hurt me so much seeing the hope in your eyes. You killed me the first time. I knew I loved you then, and the magnitude of the things I could do for love.

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The second time I knew I loved you was your birthday party – despite me hating it so much because of so many things going wrong – I talked to my friend and he told me love shouldn’t be so hard. I knew that moment in a heartbeat without hesitation, I just love you. I just do. I didn’t know about the future, or the past, or whatever shit had happened, in that moment I just loved you, and I love you still.

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The third time I knew I loved you – Paris, early morning, I saw you sleeping, and you looked so beautiful and peaceful I couldn’t help but smiled. I thought it would be good to last a little longer. I didn’t know how long we would be for, but I just loved you then. My heart was always yours to break – it was your choice from the very beginning.

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The fourth time I knew I loved you – Venice. How a simple text cured my Sunday blue. I missed you then. I really did. Venice was amazing, but nothing really beat the feeling of seeing you on a Monday morning with your luggage from the airport. Then Formentera – our little paradise 45 minutes away from Ibiza. Those moments, the kisses and the hugs, the unsung songs and the unspoken words. They were all memories turned to dusts now.

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The fifth time I knew I loved you – I guess I always do.

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I am a person that get attached very easily to things and people. When I love, I love deeply. When I feel, I feel everything all at once. I have fond memories of everything I went through – be it pain or love. Especially love. The places I’ve been to, the faces I’ve met and loved, and the things we’ve done together. Those were the moments I wish to go back to but never could. Travelling is at times an escape from all these pain I feel so deeply, so that when I come back again, my heart is somehow whole again.

Just the way it was before I met you.

 

 

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One Comment

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  1. The place it´s so beautiful!

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